When You’re Feeling Lonely
Published 24 September 2012
Loneliness most commonly describes the feeling of having no meaningful connection with others, but it can also be felt when the weight of responsibility falls on one person alone. It is feeling like no one else understands, or that we’re not truly known and appreciated by others. It is feeling like our existence isn’t really making any difference, or sensing (even if only through imagination) that other people could take us or leave us, that we don’t matter that much. Almost everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives.
Loneliness is something that is considered to be on the rise, for a number of reasons. Sometimes people withdraw from their support network as a result of feeling let down and/or rejected. Loneliness can also occur as part of grief and loss when someone we love dies. Technology has played a part in the increase of loneliness in that communication via social network sites or texts are so popular and easy to use that people forget the value of spending time with their friends and family face-to-face. Again, sometimes it’s because their lives have become so busy that it’s simply less taxing to keep in touch using technology.
Whatever the reason, loneliness is known to lead to other concerns like depression, low self-esteem, emotional unrest and general dissatisfaction of life. While it is a feeling of being disconnected from others, that connection can be restored.
If you’re feeling lonely, consider the following:
1. Take Action
If you feel lonely, think about what you can do to make a change. Be the first to make a call to your friend, or, if you don’t have friends that you feel comfortable socialising with, consider getting involved with something new – purse a new hobby, join a club, do something you enjoy. That way, you will meet people with similar interests and give yourself the opportunity to form new friendships.
2. Consider Your Work/Life Balance
Sometimes people bury themselves in work or other commitments so they don’t realise how lonely they are. They fill their schedules by continually being on the move and/or doing something, but that doesn’t replace the need for relationships. To cure loneliness, sometimes we have to give up something we’re doing to make time for those who matter. It may mean saying no to something/someone, or even taking the risk of letting others down, but it does mean leading a more balanced life and increasing our happiness. At the end of the day, we need to give time to the things and people that are important to us.
3. Relationships are what give life meaning.
When we live our life for ourselves, it feels pointless. Many have said that while they have all the riches in the world, the fact that they have no one to share it with makes it worthless. While it’s okay and even healthy to be alone every now and then and to take time for ourselves, we also need to recognise that unless we actively invest in relationships, loneliness will follow. Everyone needs a support network – people they can turn to when it matters most – and no one should have to face life’s trials alone.
By making a point of maintaining good relationships without waiting for others to reach out to us, we will most likely begin to feel a positive change in our lives that makes it more connected, meaningful and happy. This may mean catching up with old friends, visiting our family in person, or finding new people with common interests. However it may best work for you, remember: we were not designed to be lonely, but to have others even with their imperfections and faults walking through life by our side.